Have you ever felt completely misunderstood? How many times in your life have you tried to communicate something, only to have the other person misunderstand what you meant? This is a common theme in our lives and can happen in many different ways.

Sometimes we aren’t clear in how we communicate what we mean. We aren’t sure how we want to say it and it often sounds so much better rehearsed in our head than it does when it is actually spoken out loud. Other times someone might assume they know what you are thinking, feeling or doing without really even discussing it with you. This happens when someone makes assumptions without first communicating about the situation.

Misunderstandings often occur because of something small that has grown into something it never intended to be. Take Paul and the Corinthian church. Paul had been in Corinth and spent a year and a half winning people to the Lord and working with the Corinthian church. After he left, much of the church rose up against him. One of their main issues with him was that he had changed his plan to come back and see them and made a change to his travel plan. Basically, they felt that he was not trustworthy, because he did not do what he said he would do. (See 1 Corinthians 16 and 2 Corinthians chapters 1 & 2.)

Isn’t that how it often goes? Something small takes root and grows into something it never should have been. Disagreements in churches can cause extreme division. Things that seem minor and non-issues can become a fire that breaks groups apart, and ruins friendships.

The most important thing to do is to speak your truth and let God do the rest. Some people would rather argue and have strife than to work through a misunderstanding. They use it as fuel for an angry, righteous fire burning inside themselves. There are times you need to recognize when to let things go and stop trying to explain. Paul recognized that his personal presence at Corinth might make things worse after his letters admonishing them. 2 Corinthians 2:4 says this, “I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you.” It was difficult for Paul to write and I am sure it was painful for them to read. Addressing conflict is hard and admitting you were wrong is even harder. So Paul waited. He waited for God to work in the hearts of the Corinthians. There are times it is better to let something be for a certain amount of time before we act. Otherwise we can make things worse.

You cannot control how others respond to you. But you can control your own response and be like Jesus and not return evil for evil. Isaiah 53:7 tells us, “He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.” Sometimes, how you don’t respond is the real show of strength. We often want to set the record straight, when we need to just let God do our talking for us.  Don’t forsake a relationship over being right.